لطیفه های خنده دار 93

نویسنده : مهندس مهرداد طباطباییان سه شنبه 3 تیر 1393 03:47 ب.ظ  •   


نصیحت نوروز ۹۳

ﻫﻤﺎﻧﻄﻮﺭ ﺑﺎ ﺁﺟﯿﻞ ﺩﯾﮕﺮﺍﻥ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭﮐﻦ که ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﯾﺪ ﺑﺎ ﺁﺟﯿﻞ ﺷﻤﺎ ﺭﻓﺘﺎﺭﮐﻨﻦ !

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

فلشم رو تو ماشین جا گذاشتم بابامم با ماشین بیرون بوده !

یهو زنگ خونمون خورد گفتم کیه؟

بابام گفت : منم باز کن زاخار

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

یه بار اومدم کارمو بندازم فردا

بلند انداختم افتاد پس فردا

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

یه پرسش از دخدرا داشتم :

واقعن با دهن بسته نمیشه ریمل زد ؟

ینی خدایی در توانتون نیست ؟

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

برادران رایت بهشون میومد

تو کار پخش و توزیع سی دی و فیلم باشن تا ساخت هواپیما

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

یکی از بچه ها ازم پرسید به قیافه ام میخوره چند سالم باشه ؟

گفتم : ۲۷ سال

ناراحت شد گفت : ۲۲ سالشه

گفتم : ۵ سال دیگه به حرفم میرسی ، ببین کی گفتم

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

تو پاکستان

بچه مدرسه ای ها موقع دعوا به همکلاسیشون میگن:

زنگ آخر وایسا بترکونمت

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

شادی یعنی خوشحالی ، خشنودی ، بی غمی ، خوشی و خرمی

به جان خودم از لغت نامه دیدم

حتما که نباید یه چیز فلسفی باشه !

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

ﯾﻪ ﺭﻭﺯ ﺣﻮﺻﻠﻢ ﺳﺮ ﺭﻓﺘﻪ ﺑﻮﺩ ﺑﻪ ﯾﻪ ﺷﻤﺎﺭﻩ ﻧﺎﺷﻨﺎﺱ ﺍﺱ ﺩﺍﺩﻡ ﮔﻔﺘﻢ:

ﻣﻦ ﺟﺴﺪ رﻭ ﻣﯿﺎﺭﻡ ﻫﻤﻮﻧﺠﺎ ﭘﻮﻟﻮ ﻣﯿﮕﯿﺮﻡ !

ﻫﯿﭽﯽ ﻃﺮﻑ ﺟﻮﺍﺏ ﺩﺍﺩ ﻗﺮﺍﺭﻣﻮﻥ ﻋﻮﺽ ﺷﺪ !

ﺩﻓﻨﺶ ﮐﻦ ﻓﻘﻂ ﺩﺳﺘﺸﻮ ﻗﻄﻊ ﮐﻦ ﺑﯿﺎﺭ ﺑﺮﺍﻡ ﺗﺎ مطمئنن ﺸﻢ ﮐﺸﺘﯿﺶ

کرک و پرم ریخت ﮔﻮﺷﯿﻢ ﺭﻭ ﺧﺎﻣﻮﺵ ﮐﺮﺩﻡ

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

شما نیت کن رژیم بگیری

حتی دستگیره های یخچال هم خوشمزه به نظر میان

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

ﺣﺮﻓﺎﯼ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﺍ ﻭ ﻣﻌﻨﺎﯼ ﺍﺻﻠﯽ

OK harjoor rahati :

ﯾﻌﻨﯽ ﺩﻫﻨﺖ ﺳﺮﻭﯾﺴﻪ

OK eshkal nadare :

ﺩﻫﻨﺖ ﺳﺮﻭﯾﺴﻪ

OK bashe :

ﺩﻫﻨﺖ ﺳﺮﻭﯾﺴﻪ

OK be karet beres :

ﺩﻫﻨﺖ ﺳﺮﻭﯾﺴﻪ

ﻫﻤﺎﻧﻄﻮﺭﯼ ﻛﻪ ﻣﺸﺎﻫﺪﻩ ﻣﯿﻜﻨﯿﺪ OK ﺧﯿﻠﯽ ﻛﻠﻤﻪ ﯼ ﺧﻄﺮﻧﺎﻛﯿﻪ !

ﻫﺮ ﻭﻗﺖ ﺩﯾﺪﯾﺪ ﯾﻪ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﯼ ﮔﻔﺖ OK ﺳﺮﯾﻊ ﻓﺮﺍﺭ ﻛﻨﯿﺪ

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

بعضیا اینقد قشنگ دروغ میگن

که آدم حیفش میاد باور نکنه !

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

من نمیدونم اینایی که

“آیا” رو مینویثن “عایا”

“آقا” رو مینویصن “عاغا”

“بله” رو مینویثن “بعله”

دغیغا چی رو میخان صابط کنن ؟

اثلا میخام بدونم کدوم نحذط ثواد عاموضی درث خوندن ؟

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

امروز همسایمون یه احوالپرسی گرم کرد

خدا میدونه چن گیگ دانلود کرده نامرد !

این رسم وای فای نوازیه ؟!

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

هوا یه جوری شده یکی با بافت و شال گردن و کلاه و بوت میاد بیرون،

یکی با تیشرت و دمپای لا انگشتی

هر ۲ نفر هم رضایت کامل دارن !

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

معنی اصلی wifi میدونی چیه؟

W : where

I : is

F : free

I : internet

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

من تا حالا دوبار شکست عشقی خوردم ،

دو بار هم مساوی کردم و سه بار برنده شدم !

الانم با ۱۱ امتیاز تو رده پنجمِ جدول هستم

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

مردم دارن واسه عید جوری برنامه ریزی می کنن

که هم بتونن کنسرت رو برن ، هم یه سر ونیز رو ببینن

اونوقت من دغدغه ی فکریم اینه که

سریال پایتخت۳ رو جوری ببینم که به باب اسفنجی دیدنم لطمه نزنه

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

یادش بخیر

حساب کتابای قبل عید

و خوشحالی اینکه چقدر قراره بهمون عیدی بدن

لطیفه های خنده دار 93

طرف مامانش موچین رو ازش قایم میکنه

بعد میاد واسه ما دم از مردونگی میزنه



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